13.

A letter.

Happy Birthday. Another year older, another year passed missing you.

You think after 13 years the ache in my heart would go away but its still here and everytime I think of you, the pit in my stomach gets larger.

I think that one of the saddest things is that I forgot your voice, that all I have left are the memories that I still can't fully comprehend.

Memories of us playing hide and seek, us laughing as you dropped me off to kindergarten, us reading together, you teaching me how to write.

All I've ever known was to miss your presence, too young to fully understand what was going on. All I could see was what you left in your wake, broken hearts, small children.

But it wasn't your fault, no not at all; you really didn't have a choice. You fought hard but some battles just can't be won.

I'll tell you how she is--my mother. She's still beautiful, just tired sometimes; from life's simplest worries. And she still talks about you, in the soberest of times, her eyes sad but her smile still plastered on. She's happier now but it took her some time, although she told me that's all you wanted for her after all. I think that doesn't just make you kind or loving, it also makes you noble.

See I keep thinking about who you would be and who you were, I mean I still want to learn things about you. I still try. When we cleaned out the basement, I found your sweater; the grey one with the Michael Jordan on it, she said that was your favourite.

And when I ask the cousins about you, they tell me stories of how you encouraged them. One in particular even tells me the story about how you wanted better for him and thought he had a bright future ahead of him. Thinking back now, I would want to hear that too.

In all I've gathered, I can conclude that you're funny, caring and loved to play the lottery, you took me to lots of fast food restaurants and it was partly because you couldn't cook (sorry). However, all in all, you tried. That's all anyone ever asks for.

I feel like I'm missing some big chapter in the book of my life. 13 years is a long time but all I hope is that we meet again. Then maybe we could catch up and tell each other all of things that we missed.

Anyways, hope you have a great day

---Your daughter

#originalwork #poems